2 years ago today...

I can't help to write on the blog today. 2 years ago today my little brother Cole passed away from a ruptured aorta. It was the hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life. Death is not something I deal with well, especially when it is your brother and best friend. I have learned a lot from him not only after his death, but by the example he has showed me throughout my life. I was always worried that if anyone in our family of 9 kids would go, it would be Cole because of his extremely close relationship with his Heavenly Father and his Love for sharing the Gospel. He cherished his mission so much and loved his Mission Leaders. I know his work is continuing on. I have been anticipating this day for a very long time. Last year I thought I would be okay when May 10th came around and it wasn't. This year is a little better, but I can't help but to think about every detail of that morning when my mom was trying to call me from the hospital and finally getting a hold of me to tell me that Cole was dying. I was in complete shock. I didn't get to see him or say goodbye before he passed away. A half hour after I arrived to the hospital, they gave us the bad news. Today I think about all the people that were so close to my brother. My heart aches for my family and all of Cole's friends. He has touched so many lives, including mine. I have grown so much by his example. It gets harder every year that goes by that we don't have him with us physically. I am looking forward to our reunion...Until we meet again brother. We love and miss you so much!